WAS there actually anything else on TV other than the general election – or as the hipsters are calling it, GE17 – this weekend?
While Theresa May was flailing about like an escaped giraffe trying to fight the tranquiliser dart which will inevitably topple her so she can be dragged off to safety, Tellyland embraced the chaos she’d wreaked.
On what turned out to be Freaky Friday, Jo Brand encouraged an avalanche of joyful piss-taking in Have I Got News For You Election Special (BBC1, Friday), flanked by Ian Hislop and Paul Merton, both on top form. Guests were Ross Noble, looking like Dobby the House Elf wearing a wig to hide his ears, and former Labour Home Secretary, Alan Johnson, looking exactly how you’d expect a bloke called Alan Johnson to look like.
Brand introduced him by saying: “This could be his last TV appearance … it all depends on whether he can dance. If he can’t, he can go on Strictly.”
A general election is always a rich seam for gags, but, seeing as this was the most astonishing, surprising and, frankly, weirdest one ever, it was like striking gold. Twice.
The humour was sharp and the timing slick. Hislop: “The British public have spoken – and no one knows what they’ve said.”
Merton: “I like the perception of the British public as one tetchy individual with a slight air of camp about it.” Sort of like Brian Sewell being an actual nation!
Biggest cheer, though, went up when Brand announced that UKIP’s Paul Nuttal had just resigned.
Poor thing, he’d had such a tough election night, going from zero seats, to, well, zero seats.
Shame, everyone thought he was a rabid racist and fantasist, when all he was trying to do was take us all back to, er, the good old days…
In Frankie Boyle’s New World Order (also BBC1), the unpredictable Jock, was also on fine, analytical form. Casually, but with razor precision, he dissected the events of the last few days like some alarmingly-bearded satire surgeon.
He pointed out the awful cruelty of the Tory’s policy that decreed “if you’re a pensioner and you get dementia, you’ll lose your house.”
Before adding: “For pensioners, that’s like putting VAT on racism.”
But, he added: “What amazes me is that these same pensioners don’t just acquiesce and accept a Conservative government – they actually go out and vote for them! They crawl along pavements to vote themselves out of their own houses.”
Then, “Theresa May has looked incredibly uncomfortable throughout. Like she’s about to cough up an owl pellet.”
Best of all: “Jeremy Corbyn hasn’t done too well in Scotland, but that’s because Scottish people don’t trust anyone who looks old but still has teeth.”
Almost choked on my Tennent’s at that one.
So, as this week rolls on, Mayhem continues as one insane announcement follows another.
Adding to the surrealistic situation, Trump has got on the blower and thrown his tuppence-worth into the equation (Diane Abbot thought it was thruppence, but it was definitely tuppence) by stamping his feet and saying that he’s not coming to the UK for a state visit until we all like him.
Oh, dear. Will you tell him, or shall I?